Belief>Sight

SUMMARY

Karl Ihfe continues the "Expectation Gap" series by examining the second gap: believing God is with us while struggling to see His presence. Using the story from Matthew 12 where Jesus heals a man's withered hand on the Sabbath, Ihfe illustrates how different "gospels" shape our perspective. He shares Stephen Covey's subway story about a widowed father and his disruptive children, demonstrating how our paradigms can shift when we understand someone's full story—reminding us that "everybody has a story" and "we never know someone's whole story."

Ihfe identifies the "gospel of anxiety" as the primary deceiver in this gap, explaining that chronic anxiety acts like an unreliable narrator, convincing us we need things for our well-being that we actually don't. He outlines five common false needs: control, perfection, certainty, over-functioning, and approval. These false needs, while not inherently evil, become corrupted when we try to function in God's role instead of our own. The problem isn't God's absence but our anxiety preventing us from noticing His presence. Ihfe offers two practical steps: filling in the blank "Jesus died so I don't have to ___" and remembering "God is already in the room."

TRANSCRIPTION:

Well, church, it is good to be with you this morning. We're in week three of our series, the Expectation Gap, examining those gaps that many of us have between what we believe about God and what we experience from God. Now, here's the good news. Having a gap doesn't mean we're failing at faith. It actually means we're human.

You know, last week, we looked at the first gap that we believe God is loving, but we struggle to feel it. We learn that that gap is often caused by that inner critic in us trying to get us to believe a different gospel. So we said it's important to confront our critic and give the living word, the first word and the last word in our lives. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. You see, if we'll practice that, we'll learn to relax into God's amazing love for us.

This week, we're going to take aim at the second gap. We believe God is with us, but we struggle to see it. You know, so far in this series, we've been confronting the stories that we tell ourselves, or as we said last week, the gospel that we're believing. We want to learn to recognize those gospels because they have huge implications in how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how we see God. You know, I was reminded of this reality as I was listening to a devotional this week.

I'm a part of a little online community called the Fellowship of the Withered Hand. It's based on the story found in Matthew chapter 12, where Jesus heals a man on the Sabbath. The Pharisees have been following Jesus and his disciples around Galilee, trying to catch Jesus doing something wrong so they can bring charges against him. So they follow him through a grain field and then into the local synagogue. And it's there that Jesus encounters a man with a shriveled hand.

And so, seizing the opportunity to trap him, the Pharisees know Jesus saw this guy. As Jesus was walking in, they asked him, is it okay to heal on the Sabbath? Well, Jesus answers with a question of his own about sheep falling into a pit on the Sabbath. Can you help them? And if so, how much more valuable is a person than a sheep?

Jesus says, therefore, it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath. Then he said to the man, stretch out your hand. And so he stretched it out, and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. It's this incredible story, and it's a great illustration of the different kind of gospels that we can choose to believe in. You see, the Pharisees have to confront their gospel of rules over people.

You can't break any rules, no matter if it's helpful to people or not. Well, this man is going to have to confront his brokenness. You know, Jesus tells him, stretch out his hand. Think about this for a minute. He's going to have to expose his flaw, his defect, the thing he's most self conscious of.

Jesus says, stretch out your hand. Will he do it? You see, to come to Jesus means we come open and vulnerable. Will we trust him? You know, it's like that for each and every one of us.

We all have a withered hand, so to speak. Hence the fellowship of the withered hand. Well, in my devotional this week, the leader shared a story from Stephen Covey's book, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, Stephen Covey tells a story about riding a subway car one Sunday morning in New York City. This is how he describes that moment.

He said, people were sitting quietly, some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was calm, peaceful. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation.

The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility and at all.

It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you could control them a little more. The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time, and he said softly, oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it.

We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think. And I guess they don't know how to handle it either. Can you imagine what I felt in that moment? Steven writes, my paradigm shifted.

Suddenly I saw things differently. And because I saw differently, I thought differently and I felt differently, and I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior. My heart was filled with the man's pain.

Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed Freely. Your wife just died. I'm so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?

Everything changed in an instant, he says everything changed suddenly. His gospel of my comfort was exposed. My time, my ability to ride this subway in peace and quiet, it's the most important thing. And that gospel gets exposed. You see, it's in moments like these that what we believe, the gospel we're following, they get exposed.

I mean, what were you thinking and feeling about this man and his kids before you learned his story? Me too. Me too. That gospel gets exposed. You see, the mantra of the fellowship of the withered hand is short and simple.

It's this. Everybody has a story. Every story matters to God. Nobody gets the story they want. And we never know someone's whole story.

We don't know the battles. We don't know the wounds. We don't know the hurts. You see, I've been sucked into believing and chasing the my comfort gospel so many times because it's subtle and it often happens when I don't realize it. So this morning, as we think about this second gap that I believe God is with me, but I don't feel it.

I don't see his presence. I just want to ask this question. Is it possible that we've been deceived by another gospel? You see, Steve Cuss in his book says yes. In fact, that gospel that we've been deceived by is the gospel of anxiety.

He says, often the problem with this second gap isn't that God is absent. It's that we're too anxious to notice Him. You know, Steve says there are two kinds of anxiety that we deal with regularly. The first one is called acute anxiety. Acute anxiety happens when there's a real threat, like driving in your car and swerving to avoid an accident or losing sight of your child at the park or at the grocery store.

You know, your body reacts strongly, but once the danger passes, you calm down and the anxiety dissipates. Well, the second kind of anxiety is more common. It's called chronic anxiety or reactivity. Now, similar to acute chronic anxiety, it feels like danger, but the thing is, it's based on a false threat. Like, for example, if I'm not on my game, I can become a people pleaser.

Now, perhaps there are a few of us out there today. You see, when someone is disappointed in me, my body reacts like I'm in danger. You know, my stomach starts to hurt. My face gets red and hot. I start sweating.

It's this visceral, tangible reaction. Now, for others of you, it may look a little different. For some of you who are perfectionists, right, A mistake can feel catastrophic. Or maybe for some of you who are like being the answer man or the answer woman, if you don't know an answer, you feel exposed and you feel vulnerable. Maybe some of us are control freaks.

We feel responsible for everyone and everything. And when we can't be in control, our bodies react as if something terrible is about to happen, but nothing actually will. You see, chronic anxiety, it's tricky because it doesn't flood you with adrenaline like acute anxiety does. Rather, it just gives you small doses over and over until that reactivity just becomes the new normal. You see, when you're reactive, you're not seeing reality clearly.

You know, when I was a kid, there was a TV show on called the Wonder Years. It was set back in the late 1960s, early 70s, and it was the story of this family navigating those challenging times. But it was all told through the eyes of the youngest child in the family, a kid named Kevin Arnold. Now, Kevin narrates this show, but actually the adult version of Kevin that narrates. But we follow Kevin around as a kid in those days, and his first love, first kiss, best friend, all that kind of thing.

Well, the narrator, Kevin, helps orient us to reality. We rely on him to tell us the truth about what's happening, what's going on in the situations that he's dealing with. Maybe some of you remember the movie A Christmas Story, right? Same idea, only the narrator is a kid named Ralphie. You know, these shows were based upon the narrator being a reliable character.

But what happens when the narrator is unreliable? What happens when someone who sounds trustworthy, but they lead you astray? You know, you might have seen the movie Fight Club or the Sixth Sense, right? You watch the whole time thinking life is one way, only to discover in the end you've been led astray and things are not the way you thought they were. Like Stephen Covey on that New York subway.

Suddenly everything changes. That's exactly how chronic anxiety works. It's the unreliable narrator. It's telling you you need this to be okay, or you need to fix this, or you can't make a mistake. Don't disappoint them.

But see, those are lies. Chronic anxiety convinces you that something else is necessary for your well being when it actually isn't. It's creating in us a false need. And every one of us, if we're honest, we've developed some false needs. Maybe the five most common false needs.

Are these? Number one, control. Feeling you feeling responsible for outcomes that aren't yours. Number two, perfection. Believing mistakes are unacceptable.

Third, certainty. Needing to know the answer to feel safe and secure. I always have to know. The fourth one is over functioning and always having to be there. Confusing love with overwork.

And the last one is approval, depending on others opinions for peace. Now here's an interesting thing about this list. None of these false needs are completely evil, right? They can actually be good things. Being responsible and working hard, pursuing truth so that you know what's real and what's not.

Being there for the people that we love. Being helpful and being shown appreciation for that help. But those can easily be corrupted by the false gospels. And when those false gospels corrupt those false needs, they generate anxiety. And here's something else interesting about this list that Steve pointed out.

Every one of these qualities and characteristics can actually be a characteristic of God, right? God is in control and God is perfect and God knows everything and God is always present and God gives approval. I mean, so it turns out we become anxious. When we become anxious, these false needs, right, shaped by the false gospel, it's trying to tempt us to be like God. See, when we try to function in God's role instead of our own, it creates anxiety, right?

And this struggle isn't new. It goes all the way back to the very beginning. I look back in Genesis chapter three, we're told the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden? The woman said to the serpent, we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden.

But God did say, you must not eat fruit from the tree that's in the middle of the garden and you must not touch it or you will die. You will not certainly die. The serpent said to the woman, for God knows that when you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. And that's the temptation, isn't it? Church?

And it's often not so much rebellion as it is replacement trying to secure our well being apart from God. And when we do that, when we depend on ourselves for righteousness or safety or worth or value or identity, a false gospel. We stop noticing God's presence with us not because he's gone, but because we're too busy trying to be him. So as we close this morning, how about how do we close the gap? Well, let me give you two practical steps that I Invite you to take this week, this week's challenge, if you will.

And the first one is this. We. Would you fill in the blank? You see, Jesus died, so I don't have to fill in the blank anymore. You may want to start by remembering that you don't have to be your own or someone else's savior.

You've already got one, and they do, too. Instead, would you fill in the blank? Jesus died so I don't have to exhaust myself trying to earn the approval of all the people around me. Jesus died so I don't have to be perfect and never make a mistake. Jesus died so I don't have to control everything or everyone or every situation.

I don't have to manage people's impressions of me. Let's start church by filling in the blank, exchanging our false righteousness for Jesus, true righteousness. Okay, the second, second step is this. Repeat the simple truth. God is already in the room.

This week, I invite you to take a look at your calendar and find that meeting or that conversation or that class or that work situation that makes you anxious and just add one line to it. God is already in the room because he is. And see, Church, when we remember that, our bodies can begin to relax and our souls can finally notice what's been true all along, that God is right there with us. You see, you're not failing at faith because you struggle to see God. You're human and God, he's already in the room.

So, church, let's hold on to that. This week, may we fill in the blank. And may we continually repeat and remind ourselves, God is already in the room. Father, that's my prayer and hope for our church this week, that we would be a people so gripped by your love that we would cling closely to the gospel of Jesus, that because he died and was raised back to life that. That we now don't have to perform.

We don't have to pretend, we don't have to manage impressions or try to make people think that we're something other than we are God. All we have to do is remember that you're with us, that you've promised to never leave us and to never forsake us. God, I pray this week, as we encounter different situations in the world around us, that you'll remind us to fill in the blank. To not try to power up on people or take control or manage impressions, but instead would just remember that because you died, you freed us from that. And instead we are free now to love and to serve and to give.

God would you remind us that you are with us right here in our room, in our home, watching this recording. God, would you remind us how much you love us? And Lord, would you help us to hold on to that this week I pray in Jesus name.