Heroic Husbands Initiate Emotional Connection

Your wife needs emotional intimacy, which is feeling relationally close to you. You are her husband. You are the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with. You are the one with whom she took covenant vows for better for worse. She desires and deserves emotional connection with you. But sadly many women feel distant from their husbands. When was the last time you did something intentional to foster emotional closeness with your wife?

Your wife needs you emotionally. She needs closeness to you that is only found in healthy conversation. And she deserves better than your leftovers.

Heroic Husband Challenge #4: Your final challenge during this season of heroic manhood is to create a new level of emotional closeness with your wife. Here are a few suggestions:

    • Give Her Your Attention: Don’t try talking to her while the television is still on or while you are engaged in a task. Give her your undivided attention to make her feel connected to you.
    • Take Her Out: Go on dates or get away from the routine to create space for uninterrupted conversation and time to just be together.
    • Deepen The Conversation: Be strong enough to open up the conversations you usually avoid. Ask her questions like: “How can I love you better?” “How do you feel about ____?” “How can I understand your heart better?” “What can I do to be a better husband?”
    • Listen Well: Listen to what she is saying. Echo what you hear, then validate her feelings. Empathize. You can do this. It may not always come naturally, but you can learn to get better at this through practice.
    • Share With Her: Volunteer information about your world and your feelings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. It takes strength to be open and honest.  Remember, she loves you and wants to support you.
    • Remove Obstacles: Unresolved conflict, bitterness, unhealed wounds, or lack of forgiveness create obstacles to emotional closeness. Do what you can do to eliminate anything that may get in the way of connecting with your bride.
    • Have Fun Together: Find a hobby or interest that you both enjoy and can do together — going for walks, riding bikes, gardening, etc. Share experiences that allow you to connect on a routine basis.

Present your wife a love gift by connecting with her in a new way this week. Doing so may not feel like a gift to you because you have different primary needs than she does. But it will be a gift to her heart that she will eagerly receive.

Going Further: Take a simple step toward greater emotional connection by downloading a date night idea from the INTENTIONAL HUSBANDS page.

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